But Look at Her…
Ok, I’m looking. Now what? “She’s so fit and has so many friends and she just got that promotion.” Awesome, she rocks! What does that have to do with you? This is where the conversation usually takes a negative turn, on you, right? “I’m so out of shape”, “I have no friends”, “my job sucks”, and so on. Why is it that we can say so many loving things about someone else (often someone we don’t even know) and so quickly turn Evil Queen on ourselves? Just like you can’t compare an apple to an orange we can’t compare one person to another.
What we can do is be inspired by someone. Next time you find yourself saying “but look at her…” take a step back and ask yourself why you’re coveting what you think she has. Take the fit, healthy, well-dressed woman next to you at the gym, working it like a boss. Instead of comparing yourself to her ask why you’re looking in the first place. Was it her cute pants that caught your eye? Maybe that means it’s time for you to step up your workout gear. Use that as inspiration to be your best self and get yourself a cute new pair of pants. Next time you hit the gym you’ll be too busy owning moves like these top 10 leg and arm workout moves (in your new pants, of course), like the boss you are, to compare yourself to anyone else.
You Can’t Sit With Us
You may have loved watching Mean Girls but that doesn’t mean you have to be one. Using comparison to knock someone else down is not only counter-productive but it’s not a good look on anyone. As a reformed “mean girl” I speak from experience knowing how damaging that can be for everyone involved.
Pitting your accomplishments against someone else’s isn’t the way to get motivated. Instead, celebrate your accomplishments then use that as your gauge to improve, to take things to the next level. While I don’t know who said it, a quote that comes to mind when I’m a setting goal is “the only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday”. I’ve found that’s where I really grow, when I’m constantly trying to improve on the person I was yesterday.
It’s time to get real about body comparisons. You with me? This is the big one. When we compare our bodies to our neighbor, our co-worker, celebrities or to anyone else we’re limiting everyone to their parts, rather than celebrating each of us as a whole. Rather than looking at someone else and wishing you looked like them, talking negatively to yourself about why you don’t or picking them apart, be inspired by them. Gisele Bundchen is my inspiration. I’m telling you right now, I will never look like her. For starters, she’s 5’9 and I’m 5’5. See? It’s totally un-realistic for me to compare my body to hers; they’re completely different (and equally as awesome).
Instead think about what it is about that person that you want. Do they have glowing skin? Strong arms? Can run really, really fast? Whatever it is, be inspired by it. Use it to set realistic goals for yourself. Gisele is taller and leaner than me and that doesn’t mean that she’s healthier than me. While I’ll never be 5’9 I can be inspired sit a little taller, rock a high heel from time to time and I can make choices that help me achieve my own personal health goals, so I can look and feel my best (and tallest).